How Not To Blow Your New Relationship

So often I come across people who put endless amounts of pressure on themselves to find a relationship but when they do it’s all too easy to carry that pressure into the relationship itself.

To want something so badly for so long – you could be forgiven for not knowing what to do with it now that it’s finally here.

So here is my simple guide to making a success of your new found love.

Be Yourself.

Firstly let’s get the obvious out of the way. An age old cliche but when it comes to relationships never was a truer word spoken. Have faith that who you are is enough because if it’s not then you are with the wrong person. It really is as simple as that.

Sometimes when we meet new people it’s very easy to disguise our flaws and occasionally adopt personality traits which deep down we know aren’t true to ourselves. But at the end of the day if this person really is ‘the one’ then who you are and I mean who you really are should always be enough. I’m a firm believer that there is at least one true love out there for everyone – don’t waste your time on those who don’t deserve it.

Don’t Get Ahead Of Yourself.

I admit, this can be difficult. When you meet someone you really click with enjoy it but try and stay grounded. If it’s meant to be then it will be – what’s the rush?

Talks of wedding bells and kids mere weeks into a relationship could be described as romantic but only if you’re both in the same place. Try and maintain a steady progression in the relationship don’t risk ruining things early on with signs of desperation. All these things will come in time, don’t sell yourself short with irrational expectations that will send them running for the hills.

Know What You Want.

One thing I’ve learnt from experience is to know exactly what you want from a relationship. Sometimes when we like someone enough we compromise everything we’ve ever wanted and as touching as that is it may lead to future resentment and ultimately a lifetime with the wrong person (see point one).

Have Fun.

As much as I don’t want you to blow your new relationship, I also don’t want you to stress about it. The beginning of a new relationship is one of the most incredible feelings you can experience in what can sometimes be a tough life – embrace it!

Make the most of every second. Stay positive and enjoy your new found blessing. Every single day is a new opportunity to create lifelong memories, give it a try.

Get To Know Your Partner.

Obviously you know each other to an extent otherwise you wouldn’t be a couple but I mean really get to know them. Find out what makes them tick, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. Knowledge is power and understanding the way they work (as difficult as this sometimes is) will increase your chances of a successful relationship. Talk and be open with each other, no one ever enjoyed a closed book.

Overall, trust that you are on the right path whether it be for long-term success or for a further learning curve. Avoid over-analyzing and try to go with the flow, a relationship shouldn’t be a case study – let things flow.

If things don’t work out try not to be too downhearted. Time (and laughter) is a great healer and you just never know who else’s path is about to cross yours. When people tell you everything happens for a reason don’t doubt them or try and prove them wrong – just be patient.


25 thoughts on “How Not To Blow Your New Relationship

  1. O man, do I feel related with this. This woman that I know her through wordpress, she´s a lovely lady and you could say we have become friends even though I have never met her in person. Anyways she´s very insecure, and I look like Dr. Phil, all the emails she sends me has to do with her relationships through a dating site she´s in. At first I would give extensive advice, then I decided to just write her back about something else, first aknowledge her difficulties address them and then write abut something funny. But this woman is just stuck in her insecurities, that her father had left her when she was young and she not that young now to say the least, I would imagine a person at this stage would long forgot those things, maybe not forget them but not constantly dwell on them which fuels her insecurities, or whatever she has. I´m not a psychologist or psychiatrist. Point being, that I can´t read her email anymore and they´re not even about me, they´re about the guys she wants to meet or not, and all her insecurities. So it doesn´t only wears her partner or future partner down, hell it wears the people around her down. I really don´t know if I would have a conversation with this lady and have become friends if I was physically there to tell you the truth. It´s just wears you down, I get bored of acting like Dr. Phil. I just want to really shout at this woman, “Get over it and pull yourself together!” But as I said I sort of feel pity for her so I keep on with the psychologist hat worn. I too had a much rougher life than her and probably than most people and I don´t wine about it on a constant basis. I just find it a waste of time, energy and effort to live in the past. This I have told her, not in those exact words but the concept.
    And I have given up. I have decided that helping people out it´s just fruitless and a waste of my time, they don´t change. People don´t change and least at the age she has.

    Damn, this was cathartic. I had to write it out to somebody or something. If she read something like this in my blog although I´m not giving out names or anything about her she´d eventually figure out that it was about her. And that would probably hurt her.

  2. I think this kind of advice coming from a man is completely insightful. As a woman who has many times molded myself to fit my partner, it is refreshing to find out that I am not the only one who has learned from my many relationship mistakes. Good job. I am so thrilled with this post I am sharing it on my blog.

  3. Being yourself is what it is all about. The rest of your post is included in being yourself. But being yourself is one of the hardest things to do. You need to know yourself to be yourself and not many people know themselves. Nice post, as always 🙂 X

  4. This is an amazing article, I had the most fun reading it! I’m browsing through your blog as well, I just fell in love with it! Very clean, classy, elegant, and not difficult to go on to. I actually wanna collaborate with you on some articles! Hope to hear back!

  5. Loved this post and hope I can return to it one day when I am in the throes of a new relationship. Thank you for the words and the wisdom.

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