10 Things I Love About You

There’s a lot of difficult stuff going in the world right now and nothing I could ever say in a blog is going to change that, however today I thought it might be nice to focus on something positive. It seems on an almost daily basis we are confronted by the frustration and anger of relationship problems and if not our own, someone else is always ready to weigh in with theirs. This is an understandable part of life of course, but this week I spoke to ten different people and asked them to explain the one thing they love the most about their partners. The results, were just what I needed to hear.

“Do you remember the time we were all dressed up, I had a fancy dress on and you were in your bow tie. I was so nervous before the big event that I got blind drunk before we’d even arrived. You had to pull the taxi over so I could be sick and you looked after me even though for some unknown reason, I was screaming abuse at you in the middle of the street as dozens of people passed by. I ruined your big night, but you still made sure I got home ok, I was even still giving you abuse later that night when you called to check on me. I really didn’t deserve you that night.”

“I’d lost my job because of an absolute moment of madness, it was completely my own doing and it affected our entire relationship. Out of nowhere we struggled to pay the bills, our holiday was cancelled and we only just managed to scrape by. It took me three months to find a new job and you carried us through that entire time. Your patience and understanding was like nothing I’ve ever seen, in fact I don’t think you ever complained once, for that I love you.”

“There’s no great twist to our story I just love you and I have from the very first day we met. It seems too good to be true at times but I hope we never change.”

“From the first day we met you knew how important my family was to me and when I took you to meet them for the first time you were more nervous than I’d ever seen you. That night however, you worked your way around every single one of them, chatting, laughing, getting to know them. You even had a dance with Gran. I’d never loved you more.”

“He already knows how much this means to me, but from our very first conversation he knew I had a daughter and unlike a lot of guys he showed nothing but interest in her and couldn’t wait to meet her. I was probably more nervous about this than he was, but from the very moment they met they were like best friends. He never tried to be her Dad, he was just there for her as a friend. It’s a shame we didn’t work out, but I still love him for that.”

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“Sometimes it’s the simple things in life and to be honest I didn’t have much of a sense of humour before I met you. Without fail, you always make me laugh and you might not think much of it, but to me it means the world.”

“You are the quirkiest girl I’ve ever known and the first girl I’ve met with one of those colourful hair braids you get on holiday since about 1999. I was pretty content with life before you came along, but looking back my life was probably a tad boring. I fell in love with you the night I came home from work and you had lit lots of candles and prepared marshmallows for us. I thought you were totally bonkers, but I loved it and still think about that night constantly.”

“I’d been in an abusive relationship for more than four years. You were my best friend, I couldn’t have asked for any more from you during that awful time. On so many occasions I took his side instead of yours, I’d scared myself into loving him. I wish I’d realised you were the one all along so much sooner, I was an idiot. That was a long time ago and you’re there for me now even more than you were back then, that’s why I love you. You never ever left my side”

“I consider myself to be a complete oddball to the point where I never thought I’d meet someone. You are a very different kind of oddball, but the way you accept, encourage and support me is so very normal and as odd as we both may be there is something incredibly simple about our relationship. I can’t imagine finding that with anyone else.”

“We’ve been together since school, that was around 30 years ago now. I’ve always hated the term but high school sweethearts, that was us. I wasn’t the easiest person to be around, but you always stuck by me no matter what and today we have three amazing kids and have built a life together. It would’ve been so easy in the early days just to think we’re too young for all this and call it a day. When I think about what we would’ve missed out on if we’d done that, well it scares the life out of me. I love you because you were the energy that kept us going, you made all of this happen.”

To be perfectly honest this is one of my favourite posts I’ve ever written, purely because the research was so rewarding. In a time where we are so engrossed in the negatives of the world it’s such a refreshing change to go back to basics and see first-hand the extraordinary depths of love people have for one another.

Stay safe everyone.

PTB

 

 

 

PTB Meets Former Strictly Pro Camilla Dallerup

Camilla Sacre-Dallerup has spent over 25 years as a successful athlete in the world of ballroom dancing, leading her to join the original cast of Strictly Come Dancing in 2004. After six years and successfully winning the trophy in 2008, Camilla left to focus on her Life Coaching and Wellbeing business and to further her training. 2015 has been equally hectic, Camilla has continued to forge a career as a respected motivational speaker and her first self-help book ‘Strictly Inspirational’ was published in the UK and US around the same time as she returned to the Strictly Come Dancing Tour – this time as a judge. Recently I caught up with Camilla to discuss the world of dating and settling down with Hollyoaks heart-throb Kevin Sacre.

You were thrust firmly into the public spotlight when Strictly took off, how did this affect every day things like dating and relationships? Work took centre stage for a while whilst I got used to it all and mended my broken heart. I found it so strange to be back on the dating market after eight years, I didn’t really understand the whole texting thing and games people were playing, but other than that nothing really changed except perhaps I became more cautious about who I chose to confide in.

Do you find it helps having a partner who is also in the public eye? Yes, because you understand each other’s situation and you can support each other from a place of knowing. We always managed to keep our relationship quite private, although we are performers and we like social media we are actually quite private people.

How does dating in the UK compare to Scandinavia? I’m not quite sure as it’s twenty years since I dated in Scandinavia so I really couldn’t say. But I remember when I was dating before I met my husband I couldn’t get to terms with the fact that people were dating multiple people at the same time, call me old fashioned but I thought it was more special when you focused on one at a time.

It can often be hard to find the right person to settle down with, what were the key qualities that attracted you to Kevin? From day one there were no games. I found that so refreshing. He was honest, kind and so down to earth and extremely understanding of my busy schedule, perhaps because he was used to intense work schedules too. It was just easy when we hung out and he called me straight away after our first date and said “if you feel how I feel, I consider myself off the market”. We never had to worry about whether it was the right time to text or whether we should meet up the next day or the day after, it felt like the most natural thing ever to be together. I met his whole family within our first month of dating.

Any dating mishaps/horror stories? No not really. I don’t think I dated enough, but I do remember somebody once handing me a napkin in a restaurant when I was single as in to say you need this as you have food all over your face and I proceeded to use it to wipe my mouth and ditch it by the plate and then he very awkwardly said “erm sorry that actually had my number on it,” oops not so elegant on my behalf.

How do you feel about old-school romance? Is it becoming a thing of the past? FullSizeRender (13)No it will always be around just maybe packaged differently.

Often insecurities lead us to attract the wrong kind of people, what advice would you give to young women struggling with confidence issues? I live by the sentence “Perception is projection” which means if we see things we don’t like in others first make sure we have healed that within and know that it’s your right to love yourself and respect yourself and that you are always good enough.

Ideal first date? My first date with my husband, it was at a local pub near my home in Surrey where we sat outside by the river and chatted for hours. Nothing fancy just so lovely and real.

Strange fan requests? I tend to remember the lovely ones instead. A few times on the Strictly tour I received some very beautiful flowers from a secret admirer, very thoughtful. It did however have a card on it with a request on it for me to call him, but I left it to just admire the flowers.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Have patience and always believe what’s for you won’t go by you. Sometimes we think everything needs to happen in an instant, but as I have gotten older I have realised that when things are delayed it’s because the timing isn’t right and when they finally happen you realise why they didn’t happen before. My husband and I often have this conversation as we truly believe that if we had met one year earlier, we would not have been a match as we both had things to learn first.

Do you think our perception of love changes as we get older? I hope not. I want to always be a romantic and always believe in love. I have heard so many stories of people finding love at all ages that I believe there is love out there for everyone, but it starts by loving ourselves and believing that it’s possible to find it too.

For more information on Camilla’s Life Coaching business check out http://www.camillasacredallerup.com and to purchase a copy of her awesome book here’s a link http://www.amazon.co.uk/Strictly-Inspirational-Camilla-Sacre-Dallerup/dp/1780288662

PTB

The Insecurity of Man

As strange as it sounds, insecurities affect even the most confident of people. In fact sometimes over-confidence is the clearest cut sign of anything but confidence. Over the past few years there’s been a lot of bad press about glossy magazines having a particularly negative impact on the confidence of 34fc8e17ce4e72b9f9b9b4f3252aa78byoung women and rightly so. A negative impact on ordinary people should always be highlighted, no matter what the industry. Magazines need to look pretty and appealing so people will buy them, that’s why thousands of pounds is spent on stylists, make-up artists, designer clothing and of course, Photoshop. But no one really explains to these young girls what goes on behind the scenes and instead girls burden themselves with an unnecessary expectation to look perfect. With this in mind I decided to take a look at the male perspective of body confidence. There’s a huge health and fitness wave which has exploded all over the UK and beyond and although there are obvious health benefits, again we have this pressure to be ripped or to be drinking anything green or to have a fully stocked Instagram of half-naked selfies. Now us guys often have problems with being open about our feelings and emotions, so I’m going to do it myself in the hope that I can inspire other guys to be big emotional teddy bears who don’t live in the gym. Here is my own list of guy’s biggest insecurities:

Age – many of you will know that girls tend to be a little bit more mature than guys. I’ve recently turned 29, but a girl at 29 probably has the mental age of about 35 so that then leads me to feel like I should be dating someone slightly younger. But then when you do date someone younger she wants to go out until 5am when you’re ready for bed at 10pm after The apprentice finishes (or maybe that just me?) The problem with age is we totally over-analyse it. Maybe it’s not an issue at all, maybe it’s all in our head but it’s definitely something we need to pay less attention to – so long as it’s all legal of course.

Our profession – what’s one of the very first things you ask when you meet someone? “What do you do for a living?” Love or hate your job we all know our job title is going to go some way in forming their first impressions of us and again we start to overthink things. It’s a bit like what Subway did with their job titles, I mean ‘Sandwich Artist?’ I’d probably rather tell a girl I was a ‘Road Hygiene Technician’ a.k.a Roadsweeper. But of course there’s no shame in any job, it’s just amazing how much we care all of a sudden when we have to tell someone what we do. How many times have you heard people jump into a big rant about why they do what they do and how the people are great, the money’s not bad, how you’re still looking around and how it’s definitely not a forever job, before the other person has even responded to your initial answer? The funny thing is, most women are happy just to meet a guy with a steady job, no matter what the title.

How much money we have – I’d say the vast majority of people between 18-35 live payday to payday, but as you get older you start to place an expectation on yourself where you must have money put away. Personally I ended up spending every penny I had travelling and I’d do it all over again, but there’s a small part of me that wishes I could go on sporadic holidays whenever I could, but I guess everyone feels a bit like that sometimes.

Our bedroom performance – This is a big one (no pun intended). The problem is everyone is different. A ba7e1adcde50328eeec398ba120bdc21guy could have been with a girl for years perfectly comfortable in the knowledge that she is completely satisfied in every way possible. They then break up and the guy does the exact same stuff with the next girl and she falls asleep. You then become very aware of this problem and yet again you begin to overthink things (spot the theme yet?) and you find yourself caught in two minds. Before you know it doggy style turns into what can only be described as ‘an atomic 69.’ It’s not easy that first time with a new partner, again first-ish impressions are being made, just try not to break anything.

Who their ex is – Personally I turn into a big immature kid when it comes to people’s exes. Some guys don’t care who the ex is as long as they aren’t better looking than they are. I’m a bit different, the immature teenager in me is thinking “nah I don’t like this one bit, his thing has been in one too many places for my liking.” Thankfully, the 29 year old (almost) adult in me calmly says “it’s all good, everyone has a past” – at least most of the time anyway. It’s a tough one, no one likes the thought of someone they love doing atomic 69’s with another guy, but that’s life.

Our physical size – I was reading an old blog of mine and I remembered a story I’d told a while back. article-0-1642D342000005DC-739_634x758As a teenager I was a cross-country runner and when you’re running anything up to 50 miles a week it’s impossible at that age to put on weight, this was way before protein shakes and bars were commonplace. I’d met my first ‘proper’ girlfriend and I was really insecure about my blatantly obvious skinny frame. I didn’t look ill or anything, there just wasn’t much to me. On our first date, a ridiculously hot summer’s day, she happened to notice I was wearing three t-shirts. I don’t know why I acted so surprised when she pointed it out, as if I didn’t know. It was basically my feeble attempt to look bigger. So yeah, as much as we try to accept and love ourselves it’s hard not to envy the Christiano Ronaldo’s of this world. Not his diamond earrings though, they belong in 2004.

These are the typical insecurities that I myself and many guys I know find to be the most common. Everyone is different of course, but it’s always interesting to hear what men have to say when they’re being honest and not hiding behind the bravado that develops when more than one man is in the room.
To the girls I say it’s ok not to be perfect and to the guys I say it’s ok not to be ripped, if you want to be bigger or slimmer then go for it and if you want to eat Dominoes and fall asleep the moment The Apprentice ends then me and you are going to get on great.

“Just be your beautiful self.”

PTB

The Power of Blogging

Blogging for me was always the great idea I could never quite get around to. In my early teens I wanted to be a sports journalist, I would watch football matches on TV and write my own match
reports just for fun – odd child that I was. As I got older and began to think about further education, the dream of being a journalist surprisingly disappeared. I had my heart set on attending Glasgow University (it looks a bit like Hogwarts) and they didn’t offer a Journalism course at the time, so business management it was. For a long time business seemed like a terrible decision, but the journalism industry in truth isn’t in the best shape. Even those at some of the biggest magazines and newspapers in the world are only freelancing temporarily which at times is as secure as a jobbing actor. That was nearly ten years ago now and not until last summer did I finally start writing again.

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I often hear people questioning why anyone would want to start a blog, I even hear bloggers questioning why they should continue blogging. There are times in a bloggers journey where it can all seem ever so unrewarding – sitting for hours writing and for what? Everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course, but today I want to explain what blogging has done for me and how if done right, it really can change your life. This post may be about me, but it’s really not if you see what I mean. I want every single blogger out there to make the most of this incredible hobby and enjoy every possible benefit that comes along the way. I’m by no means the finished article (no pun intended) but if my own successes inspire you to start or to keep blogging, then I’ll sit here typing for as long as I have to.

I’d not long returned from travelling in Australia when I started writing. I think the prospect of returning home to another boring office job or call centre was a little too much for me to bare at the
time. Funnily enough I did return to a call centre, but through my writing I had not only revisited a former passion, but I was giving myself every possible chance of finding a way out of the jobs I so heavily despised. I went to the cinema one night and saw a great film written by Jon Favreau called ‘Chef’. I came home that very evening and started an experimental food blog. I was onto something with the blogging idea, but not the subject. Perhaps I’d gotten a little too carried away with the film itself, that blog lasted all of one disastrous jaunt to the kitchen. I then came up with the topic of dating. I’ve said many times before that I don’t consider myself to be an expert, we’re all experts when it comes to relationships in my opinion, but I’m very honest and open about my past experiences – the good and the bad. Some of my previous relationships are quite truly movies in the making, maybe one day I’ll inspire a talented chef to write about dating?

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My idea was solid. I was going to be a dating blogger who offered an honest male perspective on all things Dating and Relationships. This right here is the best piece of advice I could ever give any aspiring blogger. Know what you’re writing about and know what your unique selling point is. If you write about Movies, Music, Sports and Video Games and NME or Kerrang are looking for someone to write a post, they’re not going to choose the person who writes fairly well about several different things. The person writing passionately about music on a daily basis will get that job every single time. Know your niche and you’ll progress ten times faster.

Within six weeks of starting my blog I’d gained well over ten thousand hits and had been approached by FHM
to write a post for their website. This was beyond anything I’d ever imagined when I started writing, especially so soon. It still shocked me at this point every single time someone commented on one of my posts. I felt so incredibly privileged that someone had actually taken the time to sit and read what I’d written. This is the most simple reward you could ever gain from blogging – readers. Appreciate every single one of them. As the months progressed I found both my Blog subscribers and Twitter followers steadily increasing on a daily basis and soon I had managed to blag a few celebrity interviews as well (minor but don’t tell them I said that). Engagement is key though, you have to constantly interact with anyone interested or potentially interested in your writing. Network and make contacts, Twitter is an unbelievable tool for this. I now write a weekly blog for two national newspapers and it was through Twitter that my Editor spotted me. Trust me when I say every blogger needs Twitter.

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This all sounds great on paper: writing for one of the biggest magazines in the world, two newspaper columns, guest posts for magazines and websites all over the world and even talks with a major production company about turning my blogs into a documentary series. At the end of the day, however, my writing was still just a hobby. I was still a miserable guy working in a call centre spending every single day counting down to five o’clock. That all changed earlier this year when I finally got what I call my big break. It didn’t involve big magazines, celebrities or documentaries, it merely involves a local company who read my writing and were willing to take a chance on me to do theirs. Interestingly enough I blog about business for them, funny how life goes around in circles. Now I’m a full time blogger and social media assistant and have even held discussions with my new boss about setting up our own business on the side.

My life has officially been changed. I still harbour ambitions of making documentaries, but for now the clockwatching has finally stopped and when it comes to my career I am the closest thing to happy I’ve ever been.

Every single success, I owe to blogging.

PTB

An Unusual Case Of Online Dating

I’ve already sat for ten minutes trying to decide what to call this article, but in the end I decided to call it exactly what it is. This is one of those stories you read in magazines and you think to yourself there’s no way that can possibly be true, but this one, to my surprise, is.

About 18 months ago I started a new job in Glasgow and in my training group I met an older gentleman who’d recently moved home to Scotland having lived in America since the age of 5. He was fascinatingly interesting and yet strangely peculiar, pleasant and odd all at the same time, but ultimately a decent bloke.

I came to learn he was the religious type. His views were at times outdated, even if he did always have the best of intentions. He had split from his wife some years ago, the epitome of a bitter divorce battle and yet he still spoke with such warmth and respect for women and longed only to find someone to settle down with. It sat well with me the way he spoke, a gentleman in it’s truest form even if it was a tad cringeworthy at times.

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As I got to know him better however, I realized that his ‘longing’ to meet someone was verging on utter desperation. I’ve spoken at length before about desperation. It’s not a crime and it fleetingly happens to us all at some point in our lives, but desperation can be a very dangerous thing. It clouds our judgement and more often than not, leads to poor if not crazy decision-making.

A few months had passed by when he told me he’d signed up for an online dating site, no surprises there. It’s quick and easy and has become more and more commonplace than ever before. What did surprise me however, was the particular website he had singed up for. If you’re eager to meet someone and want to settle down as quickly as possible surely you’d sign up for a site that allowed you to meet people in your local area or your city or at least your country! Why on earth he had signed up for ‘RussianCupid.com’ I’ll never know. I’m convinced he’d fallen for a pop-up advert somewhere and genuinely believed Svetlana really was ‘waiting for his call’.

I asked him more about the website, I was curious as to how it all worked. It was then that his eyes instantly lit up as he told me with great enthusiasm that he’d already ‘met’ someone. He couldn’t believe his luck, a girl had messaged him within minutes of signing up, even though he hadn’t added a profile picture yet. I was mentally holding my head in my hands. He went on to tell me how lucky he’d been that she’d messaged him first because for men to make first contact it cost an extra £14.99. It was a scam in it’s purest form.

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Thankfully, within a few days he realized this. Sadly though he was convinced that only this particular person wasn’t real and had decided to persist with the same website despite numerous warnings from anyone with a brain. A week later came Russian girl number two. This one less than half his age – naturally. I warned him to be careful this time, to keep in mind what had happened before, to tread with even just an ounce of caution and to recognize the usual warning signs. He didn’t – naturally.

‘Oksana’ was a nurse in the centre of Moscow who didn’t have internet access at home and so could only message him from work. She only ever messaged at the same time – 7pm, Monday to Friday. Warning sign? Of course it was. What 20 something living in a big city doesn’t have internet access? A few days later I asked how it was going and he gave me an almost breathless look of sheer joy. He stuttered for a second as he pondered where to even begin with his declaration of love for yet another fictitious Russian girl. Once again he’d been drawn in hook, line and sinker. By this point he’d become a scam artist’s wet dream.

I asked if he had any pictures, “oh I have 16 pictures” he replied in a fading American accent. Sixteen? Very specific I thought to myself. Sure enough he’d been sent a fair few pictures. What didn’t seem to alarm him however, was that every single picture was a poorly shot amateur modelling picturing. Photo after photo in fields, lying in grass, bent over a sink, on the train, at a bus stop, even in the frozen food section of a supermarket. No selfies, no photos with friends or family, just a steady stream of photos from what looked like a low budget Eastern European porn flick.

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I must stress at this point I do not wish to be overly harsh on him. He was a nice guy after all, but the excruciating naivety of a man of his age was infuriating. How could he convince himself so strongly that this was real? He wouldn’t listen, no matter how many times myself or anyone else tried to tell him.

Eventually the messages dried up and he admitted his mistake. This realization was sheer relief for me, he wasn’t my responsibility but I seemed to be the only one with any persistence in trying to make him realise what he was getting himself into. His latest failed romance however, would not deter him. He was insistent that online dating was still the right path for him.

This time I was expecting him to join Match or Plenty Of Fish but no next up was ‘Christian Dating’ a site notorious for scam artists looking to capitalize on the naivety of generous Christians and sure enough more messages from Russians! Nothing against Russians, but If I were him at this point I’d be running for the hills at the sight of anything remotely Russian – unless it’s white and comes in a glass.

This one was a little more blunt, I almost respected her for it as it would save me weeks of watching him get his hopes up only to be let down again. Within two days she was asking for money to fly to Scotland and start a life together. Two days?! It seems online dating is serious business in Russia. My colleague, sadly, gave in to her request following a very creative sob story she drip fed to him over a series of late night messages. With the best of intentions, he handed over his entire three month bonus. I’d seen first-hand how hard he’d worked for that bonus. I was sad for him but also overwhelmingly disappointed – I’d warned him so many times. From this point onwards he was convinced she would be moving to Scotland. He went as far as to moving to a bigger house in preparation for her arrival and had planned to greet her at the airport in full Highland dress – honestly. As the days and weeks passed by I kept asking when she would arrive and was given the same answer for nearly two months “in two weeks”. As it turns out she had been demanding more and more money and when he refused, she stopped messaging.

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I hoped this would be the final time he would fall for such schemes and thankfully it was. This wasn’t to be his final venture into the world of online dating, but at least it was the end of a pretty horrendous run. He’s the only guy I’ve ever known who’s had three successive relationships without hearing their voice or having any form of physical contact, must be a new record.

The final twist in this tale involved a Dutch woman, half a tank of petrol and a migrant crisis at Calais. One last bash at Christian Dating proved to be a bit more fruitful this time. He met a woman called Christina. They shared his religious beliefs, her love of experimental cooking and a mutual love of all things Bruce Springsteen. They talked for hours on the phone most days, not just at 7pm, Monday to Friday. After three weeks he flew to Brugges where she had been working to surprise her, not knowing that she had in fact already returned home to Amsterdam. Christina, touched by his gesture drove all the way back to Brugges with no money and half a tank of petrol to pick him up. What was supposed to be a spontaneous weekend turned into a three week holiday thanks to the ongoing ferry issues at Calais and in those three weeks it seems they both found a soulmate. It all seems a bit too much to comprehend even now, but it’s a true story nonetheless. Christina has now moved to Scotland, living in the house he’d rented for the Russian.

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This is obviously an extreme story, a complete one-off. In the end it seems online romances aren’t the evil of the dating world after all, but my old colleague certainly made things difficult for himself. There are endless lessons to be learned from this story. Don’t let desperation make your decisions, don’t sign up to obscure websites, don’t date fake Russian models, don’t send strangers money and if you travel abroad to meet your new squeeze make sure you go to the right country. Ultimately though, don’t give up. You’ll find what you’re looking for – eventually.

PTB

PTB Meets Former Corrie Star Mark Moraghan

It’s not often I get the chance to speak to a housewives favourite, but it was also a pleasure to speak to a genuine entertainment all-rounder. Not only has Mark Moraghan been gracing our screens for over two decades in a number of gripping roles, he is also an accomplished musician. Recently I caught up with Mark to talk acting, music and of course dating (I had to promise myself not to ramble on about my past love of Dream Team).

Mark, you’ve played a variety of roles over a number of high profile shows over the years, what’s been your favourite?

That’s a tough one. I’ve enjoyed most TV jobs I’ve worked on. But my top 3 would be Corrie, Holby City, and Dream Team all very different but great fun.

As well as acting you’ve been heavily involved in music, was there ever a time when you had to choose one over the other?

I was in a band called Personal Column for a while when I was 17 and I had to make a choice of either investing in some percussion instruments or continue with acting. I think I made the right choice.

How did being thrust into the public eye change your every day life? Do you enjoy being recognised or do you savour the quiet life?

Being recognised is a double edged sword. Without people noticing you for your work you wouldn’t have a job to begin with, people are generally very nice and I always say thank you for watching . Very rarely you come across the odd plonker. I have an array of one liners at the ready for such occasions. I often get strange looks walking around the supermarket, which amuses me.

When you were a young actor starting out, did you ever imagine you would go on to appear in a show so pivotal to British culture like Coronation Street?

Starting out, you always hope that your career will take off, but it’s a long hard road with many highs and lows along the way. I wouldn’t want to be starting nowadays though! But I don’t regret a single day as an actor it’s given me a nice life and I’ve met lots of interesting people on my journey.

Dating and relationships these days seems to have been taken over by the world of online dating, how does this compare to when you were a teen?

I find the idea of dating on the Internet a bit tacky. It’s seems from an old farts perspective, to be about instant gratification, what happened to the thrill of the chase ? But with technology now it seems that’s the way of everything. The Internet has given us more choices and made us greedy in a sense, it eats up news, opinion etc. There is a big thirst for tomorrow’s next big thing, only for it to be forgotten in an instant. And so it goes on, if that makes sense?

What advice would you give to your younger self?

I would tell my younger self to go out and make it happen. Don’t wait for the phone to ring because it won’t. I spent a few of my early acting years treading water until a light got turned on in my head when I was around 25 years old. As they say youth is wasted on the young. If I knew then what I know now!

What are the key qualities you look for in a partner?

Loyalty, the ability to listen, affection and a great sense of humour.

Any deal-breakers?

Racism , bigotry, incessant talking and swearing too much – although I’m guilty of the latter.

Do you think our perception of love changes as we get older?

Definitely. I don’t think you fully get to grips with what love is until you’re well into your 20’s or even 30’s and it’s something you have to work hard at to maintain. I like most people have made many mistakes in that department, but thankfully I’m very happy and content with life.

You’ve had a career spanning nearly four decades, would you do it all again?

I’ve always said I will never retire. The job or ill health my retire me, but I’d do it all again in a heart beat.

PTB

PTB Meets Opera Star Lucy Kay

Lucy Kay rocketed to fame on last year’s Britain’s Got Talent with a stunning rendition of ‘Vissi D’Arte’ from the opera ‘Tosca’ by Giacomo Puccini. After finishing runner up to musical theatre boyband Collabro, Lucy went on to land a number 1 record in the UK Classical Charts with her debut album ‘Fantasia.’ Recently I caught up with Lucy to discuss life after BGT and bringing classical music to the masses.

Hi Lucy, you were thrust firmly into the public eye with a rather moving audition on Britain’s Got Talent, how has appearing on the show changed your every day life?

Since the show last year it’s been pretty hectic. I’m traveling to London almost every week for meetings, recording and traveling around performing in some of the most beautiful venues.  I was at The Royal Conservatoire of Music in Glasgow before I entered the show so I’m no longer a student and graduated literally just after the show had finished. So no more student ways and straight into performing for a living. It’s tiring and hard work but I love it.

Has being in the public eye made simple things like dating difficult at all?

I wouldn’t say it has actually, I live in Glasgow so it’s a pretty relaxed environment and I feel I can be myself with my partner and not get any hassle. It’s nice to just enjoy being normal when we head out on dates but when we are in London it’s a little harder.

Die-hard classical music lovers have been known at times to be a tad disapproving of talent show stars, how have you found their reception to your work?

Oh awful haha, as I expected really. That’s why I decided to enter a Talent show I felt that classical music has a stuffy image, it feels very elitist most of the time and I wanted to show that opera and classical music is for absolutely anyone. I certainly wasn’t brought up with a musical background – I did it because I enjoyed it. When I was at music college, I really felt like one of the odd ones who didn’t want to go the ‘proper route into music’. I didn’t want to be in full blown opera companies, I just wanted to be a commercial singer – like Katherine Jenkins for example. Some singing teachers I had were very disapproving with my decision and refused to teach me for my end of year exams – I found it all a little sad but carried on never the less. I’ve been criticised for going down that route and performing opera arias on TV, especially for singing the world famous ‘Nessun Dorma’ which is written for a male voice (Tenor) – I decided to break the rules a little and perform it. Lots of opera buffs had a lot to say about that one. But You just keep going, trying to make it more readily accessible and acceptable for people who would never really get a chance to listen to classical music had it not been for these types of talent shows.

Who would you most like to collaborate with?

Hmm there are so many people I’d love to collaborate with one of them I’ve already ticked off my bucket list which was Andrea Bocelli, but I’d really love to collaborate with Myles Kennedy from Alter Bridge and Killswitch Engage actually and maybe even Metallica!

Are you ever conscious of someone wanting to get close to you for being a famous face as opposed to who you are as a person?

Yeah there are a lot of people who do that and I’ve had my fair share of them trying to niggle their way in after years of no contact. Funny to see actually.

What qualities do you look for in a partner?

I know most girls always say that they look for someone who can make them laugh but I really do think that it is so important. It takes the edge off the seriousness of relationships. Don’t get me wrong I love being in a long term relationship but you have to have laughter for it to work in my eyes. I’ve been with my man for 3 years now and he makes me laugh everyday. Even when we argue or have the typical bad days he somehow always manages to make me laugh and that’s what I love. Personality is a must have! If a guy hasn’t really got a great personality there’s no point in perusing if he’s just good looking. Those are the relationships that never work. A girl just wants to feel like she can be sexy, safe and loved and that you can trust him and know that he is by your side through whatever life throws at you. I’m not asking too much here, am I?

Any dating horror stories?

I dated someone at college who was pretty much hobbit size, I’m 5″2  so pretty small myself! I had seen him around the place but I was always sat down in the cafe bar so I didn’t see much of a height difference – so  he asked me out via Facebook messenger – very modern. I accepted and when I met up with him that night I really couldn’t believe I hadn’t been aware of how short he actually was. He was incredibly sweet, good looking and ticked all the boxes. Just not the height one I’m afraid. It just felt so wrong… Sorry!

Snog, Marry, Avoid…David Walliams, Stephen Mulhern, Ant & Dec?

I would snog Ant and Dec two for the price one one there! Marry David Walliams (he can make me laugh) and avoid Stephen Mulhern I’m afraid! He’s got some crazy eyes on him.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Not to wear my heart on my sleeve so much and don’t ever feel guilty for living the life the way I want for fear of what others might say. Do things that make you happy not just to please others.

Do you think our perception of love changes as we get older?

Oh yes I believe so – when you’re young, you mainly go for hot guys and soon you get to the point when you realise that looks really aren’t everything. The idea of love itself is a tricky one at such a young age, you find yourself believing that because you have a boyfriend you must be in love. But really what is love?? It comes in different forms I guess and it’s different for everyone. I know when I’m in love because I see no one else that can come close to what I have with my partner. He gives me stability, warmth, laughter and a deep connection I can’t really put into words.  It’s also being able to put up with someone through their bad days. Which is when I do feel sorry for David as I have my ‘bad days’ at the same time every month haha! He’s worked out what not to say and how to handle me at my worst. Now That’s love!

What’s next for Lucy Kay?

Well I’ve recently changed management and I’m now with an incredible team who are working on my next phase. I’m going to be working on more lighter classical crossover music for a second album, currently taking more dancing and acting lessons and auditioning for some big roles in the west end as it’s something I’ve always loved and wanted to do. I’ll be touring on my own in September as well as with guest appearances on Rhydian’s solo tour and G4’s reunion tour.  There’s also a big project coming up next year which is something quite different from what I normally do – I can’t say too much about at the moment but keep your eyes peeled!

PTB

How Not To Blow Your New Relationship

So often I come across people who put endless amounts of pressure on themselves to find a relationship but when they do it’s all too easy to carry that pressure into the relationship itself.

To want something so badly for so long – you could be forgiven for not knowing what to do with it now that it’s finally here.

So here is my simple guide to making a success of your new found love.

Be Yourself.

Firstly let’s get the obvious out of the way. An age old cliche but when it comes to relationships never was a truer word spoken. Have faith that who you are is enough because if it’s not then you are with the wrong person. It really is as simple as that.

Sometimes when we meet new people it’s very easy to disguise our flaws and occasionally adopt personality traits which deep down we know aren’t true to ourselves. But at the end of the day if this person really is ‘the one’ then who you are and I mean who you really are should always be enough. I’m a firm believer that there is at least one true love out there for everyone – don’t waste your time on those who don’t deserve it.

Don’t Get Ahead Of Yourself.

I admit, this can be difficult. When you meet someone you really click with enjoy it but try and stay grounded. If it’s meant to be then it will be – what’s the rush?

Talks of wedding bells and kids mere weeks into a relationship could be described as romantic but only if you’re both in the same place. Try and maintain a steady progression in the relationship don’t risk ruining things early on with signs of desperation. All these things will come in time, don’t sell yourself short with irrational expectations that will send them running for the hills.

Know What You Want.

One thing I’ve learnt from experience is to know exactly what you want from a relationship. Sometimes when we like someone enough we compromise everything we’ve ever wanted and as touching as that is it may lead to future resentment and ultimately a lifetime with the wrong person (see point one).

Have Fun.

As much as I don’t want you to blow your new relationship, I also don’t want you to stress about it. The beginning of a new relationship is one of the most incredible feelings you can experience in what can sometimes be a tough life – embrace it!

Make the most of every second. Stay positive and enjoy your new found blessing. Every single day is a new opportunity to create lifelong memories, give it a try.

Get To Know Your Partner.

Obviously you know each other to an extent otherwise you wouldn’t be a couple but I mean really get to know them. Find out what makes them tick, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. Knowledge is power and understanding the way they work (as difficult as this sometimes is) will increase your chances of a successful relationship. Talk and be open with each other, no one ever enjoyed a closed book.

Overall, trust that you are on the right path whether it be for long-term success or for a further learning curve. Avoid over-analyzing and try to go with the flow, a relationship shouldn’t be a case study – let things flow.

If things don’t work out try not to be too downhearted. Time (and laughter) is a great healer and you just never know who else’s path is about to cross yours. When people tell you everything happens for a reason don’t doubt them or try and prove them wrong – just be patient.

PTB

PTB Meets Former TOWIE Star Pascal Craymer

International model, champion gymnast and a stint on TOWIE it’s been a busy few years for Pascal Craymer. Throw in a couple of relationships with Mario and Luigi, ahem Louis, you wonder how this girl remains so refreshingly down to earth. Recently I caught up with Pascal to discuss her taste in men, dating in the public eye and her plans for the future.

Hi Pascal you’ve led a rather exciting life from a very young age but how did you find the transition from aspiring gymnast to model and reality star?

Well my whole life was gymnastics and I never thought I would be able to make a career out of modelling. It kind of just fell into place when I moved over to Spain. I was approached to model and thought why not and it has all gone from there. I never would have thought in a million years that this is what I would be doing as a career after gymnastics. I’m very grateful to be able to do something I really love.

Your time on TOWIE firmly put you in the public eye. How did appearing on the show change your every day life?

TOWIE literally happened over night. Suddenly your life becomes not so private. Relationships become very public which can put a massive strain on things. I have a great loyal fan base that I’m truly grateful for, a lot of them have been with me from the very start and I couldn’t be more thankful for them.

You’ve dated some high profile personalities. Is it difficult to maintain a normal relationship when you’re both in the public eye?

Relationships can be difficult as it is but when they’re in the public eye it can put a massive strain on the relationship. I got a lot of messages from people claiming they were cheating etc which is difficult when you’re only just getting to know that person yourself. I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve managed to keep my relationships relatively private.

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What are the key qualities you look for in a guy?

The key qualities I look for in a man is ambition, personality and loyalty. I love a man that is ambitious and knows what he wants. Personality is a must! Someone who can make me laugh and has great conversation. I get bored easy so I like someone to keep me on my toes. Loyalty is also a must, who doesn’t want a loyal man! I also like a man’s man. No sunbeds! No fake tanning! No plucking!!! And it really puts me off when they take selfies.

What would be your perfect first date?

Everyone likes being wined and dined! Good food, nice wine and great company is perfect for me.

Worst Date?

I’ve not really had a bad date but I hate the awkward goodbyes! If they lean in for a kiss and you’re not feeling it and you have to dodge it with a kiss, awkward!

Any strange requests from fans?

I get proposed to a lot! Might need to accept one soon!

Teen Crush?

Oooh I had a few! Peter Andre being one of course! Mysterious girl!

What advice would you give to women out there looking for Mr Right?

Stop looking! The minute you stop looking someone comes along!

Do you think our perception of love changes as we get older?

Yes massively. Well in my case yes. I believe as you get older you become wiser and learn a lot about yourself. Based on this I believe our perception of love changes because as you get to know yourself you begin to realise what type of person it is you will fall in love with.

What’s next for Pascal Craymer?

First and foremost I am sticking by my gymnastics past and my fitness which I seem to be becoming a bit of a role model for. I can’t really talk about any projects yet but there are some exciting things in the mix. I’ve never really followed the rules in terms of plans with my future and my work as I believe living in the moment is the best way to be!

Follow Pascal on Twitter: @pascalcraymer

PTB Meets Jethro Sheeran

Some things run in the family. It’s a tough task sharing a name with your global superstar cousin but Jethro ‘Alonestar’ Sheeran has built a worldwide reputation of his own – credible artist, writer, producer and of course doting Dad. Personally, I have great respect for just about any type of musician, whether you’re the busker on the street corner or the chart-topping pro it takes grit and determination to follow a dream of any kind and Alonestar is the perfect example of this. But as much as I love music, today I caught up with Jethro to talk about dating, relationships and well groupies (I had to ask).

As a dedicated musician do you find it hard to juggle your career and relationships?

Yes it’s very hard being away a lot, especially working weekends and late nights in the studio it does put a strain on your relationship at times. Also, when you’re gigging or travelling there’s a lot of trust issues so you have to make your partner feel secure.

What are the main qualities you look for in a partner?

Trust and loyalty, being supportive of my career and total honesty between us.

Any deal-breakers?

If my partner cannot accept my daughter Skyla Rain Sheeran.

Are groupies a thing of the past in music or do you still find the usual cluster of people hanging around?

There’s always groupies around when it comes to musicians but for the most part they don’t know you as a person at all. They just see you walk off stage after a performance and jump at you, I think it’s weird. I’ve been in a club before a performance and seen a beautiful girl who didn’t bat an eyelid at me but when I performed she was right at the front staring at me and afterwards asked to buy me a drink. I accepted but thought she was a little fake.

Online dating: curse or convenience?

Online dating is awesome I think, for everyone. It’s like an online night club without the bullshit of dressing up, dancing, drinking, catching her eye then having the courage to chat her up. On dating sites your pictures represent who you are which can be both a good and a bad thing, but if we’re honest we need that initial attraction so we shouldn’t see it as a bad thing if we end up scrolling through until we find someone we like. A lot of my friends have met their wives online so I think it’s a great thing especially if you’re working hard and don’t get out much.

Any strange fan mail?

I’ve had lots of fan mail, mostly really cool letters about how my music has helped people get through some hard times in their life but also a few odd things. One time a girl threw a sex toy with her number attached to it on stage and my singer picked it up and kept it. Her face was priceless and she was frantically pointing that it was for me, was funny.

Looks Vs Personality?

For me it has to be both.

Teen Crush?

My teen crush was wonder woman.

Does our perception of love change as we get older?

I think so. My first love was so passionate, we were obsessed with each other, the love we felt was so powerful. I think it still does feel strong but you also put barriers up to protect your heart especially if you’ve been really hurt before. You also start looking for a relationship with someone you really trust where you can let the love grow and have mutual respect for one another as opposed to someone you are besotted with but they don’t treat you right and cheat or whatever. You yearn for them and it hurts – I’m not sure if that’s real love or infatuation.

Download Alonestar’s work at Jethrosheeran.com or on itunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/real-life-feat.-ed-sheeran/id940742964#

Twitter: @alonestar1

Office Romances: Is It Worth It?

The office can be a fascinating place. The politics, the flings, the teacher’s pets, the endless gossip, the lack of common sense of those in authority. The global success of the TV show itself proves firsthand the endless entertainment provided by office dynamics. But if truth be told, we really need look no further than our own workplaces for something to talk about it. In my own experience, nothing gets people talking like an office romance.

As a writer the office is a great place to find inspiration. Sometimes it’s good to just sit back and watch. If you take away the menial tasks being performed by workers then what exactly is an office?  In my opinion a social hub – filled with friendships, hatreds and of course physical attractions. How many scandals have you heard in your time emanating from the traditionally wild office Christmas party? Exactly. Twelve months of secret crushes, flirtations and sheer lust flooding out in one alcohol fuelled evening.

If we look at the idea of convenience well sometimes it is simply that – convenient. An office caters for just about every type of person on the social spectrum. Take your average call centre for example – dozens maybe hundreds of young single men and women. Relationships, trysts, flings whatever you want to label them they’re bound to happen in such a testosterone filled environment. In fact I’d go as far as to say it’s quite possibly the easiest way to meet someone outside of online dating. However, physically meeting someone isn’t really the issue – it’s the aftermath.

What happens if or when it all goes pear-shaped? I find it difficult at times to promote the idea of a workplace romance because personally I’ve seen so many bad outcomes but that’s certainly not to take anything away from the success stories out there nor should it deter anyone from trying, after all what’s meant to be will be. The harsh realities however are difficult to ignore. Break-ups are tough at the best of times but imagine having to work with your ex every single day. What’s one of the toughest things about a break-up? Getting over them. How can we possibly expect to get over someone when we have to look at them through the little gap in two computers all day? Think of all the games that come hand in hand with the situation as well; making each other jealous, flirting with other people. Life is way too short to have to put up with such things. In my time working in offices I’ve seen everything from the most awful of break-ups to demoralized teams to disciplinary proceedings to people having to leave their jobs. All as a result of office romances. But on the flip-side maybe it’s just the price we pay to find love? Nothing wrong with taking a risk once in a while.

All in all I’m not a great advocate of office romances but neither am I an advocate of pessimism when it comes to finding love. If you like someone at work just go for it! Why let something you actually have in common deter you from potentially finding the one? Let’s be honest we all rule with our hearts when it comes to love anyway so why don’t we all just seize the day and deal with the consequences later. You will always hear stories good and bad whether it’s from me, your parents, friends or even your boss but we only ever truly learn from our own decisions, our own mistakes, our own happiness’s. Just live, it’s your life. There’ll be other jobs.

PTB

PTB Meets Gail Porter

Any time I grab the chance to speak to a household name, I prefer speaking to those with character and life experience. After all, what can we really learn from the squeaky clean? Twelve years ago I sat in the audience of a now defunct celebrity game-show. An adolescent sixteen year old I gazed at a real-life FHM model sitting happily alongside one Mark Owen – quietly confident that I would soon be the envy of all my friends. Today as a real-life grown up I look beyond the cover shoots of old to have an even greater respect for this TV presenter, writer, documentary-maker and of course doting Mum. Recently I caught up with fellow Scot Gail Porter for a brief chat about life, love and dating.

Hi Gail, you first came to our attention in the mid-90s. How did your everyday life change once cast into the public eye?

My everyday life changed in the fact that I went from a wee girl from Edinburgh who would plod around unnoticed, then suddenly strangers would come up to me in the street to talk to me. I love a chat, so that wasn’t a problem. Paparazzi scared me though. I never like dressing up and I hate makeup and suddenly I was having my picture taken wandering out of Budgens. I never understood what was interesting about my shopping habits.

Was there a time when dating had to take a backseat in order to pursue your career or was it easy enough to juggle the two?

I was not a big dater. If it happened, it happened. To tell you the truth I loved working and dating was not a big concern of mine.

Were you ever concerned that guys might be interested in you purely for your celebrity status as opposed to who you are as a person?

I guess I am quite naive. I always believed that if someone wanted to take me out it would be for myself as a person, not my job. Unfortunately I was proved wrong on quite a few occasions.

Any odd requests from fans?

I have been sent a request to send a picture of myself naked with whatever cereal I had for breakfast covering my lady parts!

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Any dating horror stories?

The worst date was with a guy who wanted to sing to me over dinner. Awkward…and he had a shit voice and loved Mariah Carey.

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Teen Crush?

My teen crush was Nick Kershaw. I think it was a height thing.

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What advice would you give to young women looking for Mr Right?

No advice to give. Single and 43, say no more!

What do you look for in the ideal partner?

My ideal partner would have to be breathing. Oh…and funny!

Any deal-breakers?

Ignorance and shit shoes.

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Do you think our perception of love changes as we get older?

Love is love. I haven’t found it but I won’t stop looking.

@paulthomasbell

@gailporter

Why Do We Cheat?

Cheating seems to have become more common than ever before. Not for everyone of course but in recent times it seems to be ever so slightly embedded in modern day culture. So why do we cheat? I once worked with someone who told me he loved his girlfriend with all his heart but sex was sex. His explanation was that sex was simply a meaningless act and that the occasional misdemeanor would never compromise his feelings for his girlfriend. I found his outlook fascinating but extremely concerning. I could never condone cheating, but I do acknowledge that things aren’t always as cut and dry as they seem. To find out more I decided to hear from a few guilty but refreshingly honest parties.
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Scott, 26, Cardiff….

I and my partner met on a night out at university, we messed about a lot for around a year before we decided to ‘officially’ get together. We had a good relationship for about six months or so until my partner got suspicious whenever I did literally anything without her, whether it was going out with friends or even just wanting to study on my own for a bit. Her attitude eventually led me to cheat on her. Unfortunately I had developed the attitude of ‘if you’re going to accuse me of doing stuff behind your back I may as well just do it’. After another five months or so the relationship eventually broke down completely. Once the relationship started to go downhill I cheated on three separate occasions and as far as I’m aware she never found out. I feel bad about it looking back but at the same time the relationship had started to deteriorate before that point and I knew it wasn’t going to last.

Emilia, 31, London….

We had started off as really close friends, then he left his girlfriend for me. It was a summer romance that just kept on going. We both grew as people but in very different ways which ultimately led to us growing apart. He became very manipulative and to be honest just a bit twisted. We fought a lot, fault on both sides, then one evening he hit me and things got steadily worse. He bailed on me on New Year’s Eve, I got drunk and slept with a guy from work.

We broke up a few months later because the trust issues that were already present had only got worse. I had realized just how easy it was to cheat on someone without them finding out so in the most peculiar way my own infidelity had made me not trust him. Crazy I know. But I don’t think cheating is as black and white as people make it out to be. The person who got cheated on isn’t always in the right, even if the cheater is always in the wrong.
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He never found out about my actions but I never found out if he had cheated on me either and I strongly suspect he did. People told me he had but they weren’t exactly my biggest fans so I took it with a pinch of salt. Oddly enough, no matter how much I hated him for the things he had done to me, I had never wanted to throw it in his face.

Ben, 37, Manchester….

I was with my girlfriend for about 4 years. She was perfect on paper: gorgeous, kind-hearted, funny, loving, pretty much everything a man could ask for. Looking further ahead I also knew she would make an amazing wife and an even better mother. But for the longest time I always felt something was missing. We worked well together but there wasn’t that spark, that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just couldn’t live without them. It was a ‘nice’ relationship but I craved ‘spectacular’. I loved her but was I ‘in’ love with her? I still don’t know, but then maybe that just means no? I found my eye wandering on several occasions. I wasn’t proud of it and I didn’t tell a single person but I felt like I had to spend time with someone else to truly know how I felt about my girlfriend. If I’m honest it didn’t help, I wasn’t really getting that spark with anyone so maybe it was me that was the problem? I can’t excuse my actions in any way I realize it’s not acceptable to treat someone like this, especially a ‘good’ person but I’d spent so long lost in confusion that I desperately needed some answers. I still haven’t found them.

So there you have it three very different reasons for cheating: boredom, abuse and indecision. It’s not for me to judge what’s right and what’s wrong but I do believe in hearing both sides of the story before we do. Could we handle these situations better? Of course we could, but nobody’s perfect.

Tell me your story.

PTB

Follow me on twitter: @paulthomasbell

24 Hours On Tinder

Many of you will know that I’m not the biggest fan of online dating. I’d describe myself as sceptical but open-minded. I’ve known so many people let down by the online process – conversations which held much promise quickly turning to bitter disappointment and regret. That being said there are many online success stories so regardless of my opinions of the online game; I fully accept its place within 21st century dating. So with this in mind I decided to try Tinder. I say try but I really just mean see what it’s all about. The growing popularity of the Tinder app has been rather astounding, in fact many people now have it in the same way they would have any other app irrespective of what if anything they are looking for. So in 24 hours here’s what I discovered:

1. Girls love baths. Tinder has introduced a new ‘moment’ feature simply allowing you to post a temporary picture with a message. Remember all those beach photos in the summer: legs or hot dogs? Well be prepared for lots of these except in the bath. They are of course legs this time I might add, no hot dogs in the bath – I hope.
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2. Guys seem to (mostly) only want one thing. This doesn’t go for every guy of course but one of the most common complaints from girls was the vast amount of dirty messages being sent to them. It seems ‘would you like to see my penis’ has replaced the popular greeting known as ‘hello’ for many men. This is a similar complaint that I’d heard a while back from the women of plentyoffish.com so I was a tad disappointed to find a similar trend on Tinder. If you are only after a casual relationship there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but there’s ways of going about. I countered this with a ‘moment’ of my own: “Post dogs not d*cks” accompanied by a picture of my beloved Cocker Spaniel. The girls loved it, probably out of relief more than anything.

3. EVERYONE loves a selfie. The world has officially gone selfie mad. What more can I say?
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4. Some people really are just lonely. This isn’t a criticism of course I genuinely felt a bit sad realizing this. There were girls posting their phone number publicly meaning just about anyone would have access to it, I found this slightly alarming. I decided to investigate this a little bit more and engaged in a few different conversations. It was incredible how each of these conversations took the exact same turn. It started with ‘oh I’m just bored’ but then slowly as they began to open up a sea of confidence and anxiety issues are revealed. I’ve written about this in some depth in the past, I wish people could see the good in themselves sometimes but easier said than done I know. They may not be who they want to be yet but that doesn’t mean they’re not a great person. I always say for every person who spurns you there are twenty others who would kill to be with you.
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5. Looks are everything. Well at least on Tinder anyway. It’s incredible how often you hear people saying ‘looks aren’t everything’ and I agree looks may spark initial interest but it’s personality that determines the longevity of a relationship. On Tinder however that all goes out the window. It’s fascinating really and perhaps even a little bit of an ego boost but it’s incredible to see how quickly our every day rationality simply disappears.

So Tinder, I’m not yet convinced. I’m not sure Tinder quite knows what it is yet? I speak to so many people looking for love but I don’t think Tinder is the answer nor does it seem like a particularly good ‘hook-up’ site, in fact the mere suggestion of it is met with a barrage of hostility – but like I say there are ways of wording your intentions and it doesn’t begin with ‘do you wanna see…’ All just my opinion of course, I’ll let you make your own mind up.

Happy Dating

PTB

A Thank You To My Readers

photo 1 (1)As we start the countdown to 2015 I wanted to write a quick post with one very important message – thank you. For me 2014 has been a year of extreme highs and heartbreaking lows but my new found love of writing and the support of my readers has been by far my greatest highlight.

I began the year in a far away land, Australia to be precise. I’d moved out there feeling rather lost but delighted to once again be surrounded by the incredible friends I had made on my travels to
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America. Going to Australia was one of the scariest things I’d ever done. I’d walked out on my job, packed a bag and flown to Oz via stops in Istanbul and Bangkok. When you do something like that it’s difficult to know if you’ve done the right thing. Abandoning every possible form of stability in search of an adventure. Some people thought I was crazy and maybe I was a little bit but no regrets, I had my reasons. There were days when it made my stomach turn wondering if I’d done the right thing but the following weeks of exhilaration, endless Melbourne sunsets and the manner in which new and old friends adopted me as an honorary Aussie, more than dispelled those fleeting moments of doubt.

When I returned home I was even more lost than before I left. I’d spent so long depressed in my bed (about three weeks to be exact) that I’d almost caused an intervention with my family – funny but true. This is one of the major pitfalls of travel – unbelievable highs to the inevitable ‘what now?’ This is when I discovered blogging. Not exactly a return to stability but a step in the right direction, in fact I was enjoying it so much I was reluctant to find a new job. Not many of my readers will know this but my blog was originally an ‘experimental food’ blog – it lasted approximately 3 hours. I realized the key to blogging was writing about something you are truly passionate about or at the very least something you have a little bit of knowledge about. Experimental food? Must have been the jet-lag.

photo 5When I started writing I was astounded by the feedback I was getting, it’s a wonderful feeling to know people can relate and genuinely benefit from your stories. The emails and messages I get from people unlucky in love and young writers starting out looking for advice leaves me completely blown away and incredibly thankful. It’s a real privilege to know your opinion can make a difference to someone’s life. Five months and 30,000 readers later I simply want to say thank you, to each and every person who took the time to like, read and comment on my posts, it genuinely means the world to me. I’m so happy to have discovered the blogging community and long may it continue.

Wishing every single one of you an incredible year ahead.

With Love

PTB