How To Give The Best Blow Job Ever

OK so it’s not what you think. Recently, the lovely folks at Marie Claire magazine gave me the challenge of writing this piece. Having never given a blow job, I was of course hesitant and well not exactly keen to give it a bash, thankfully they just meant from a receivers point of view. So as much as I’m a tad embarrassed to write this and hope this is one article the family choose not to read, I’ve always promised to give an honest male perspective on just about anything. So here it goes…

Now blow jobs have always been a bit of a taboo subject. It might seem straightforward enough but believe it or not, there is such a thing as a ‘bad blow job’. Guys always think a blow job is a bit of a privilege, it sounds bizarre but sometimes we can’t actually believe a girl would want to do such a thing (but trust me we’re grateful).  There are however those times when a blowjob is just downright painful and those squirms we make, aren’t always because we’re loving it – it’s because we fear for the life of the poor little guy. So girls, on behalf of myself and every straight man out there we are truly appreciative of what you do, but here are just a few little pointers that will help you along the way.

A little teasing goes a long way – there’s nothing like the build up to a blow job. When a guy knows it’s definitely going to happen it’s a similar excitement to his team about to score a goal – except this time there’s a girl on her knees ready to give you everything that your footballing heroes can’t. With this in mind girls, enjoy the control you have over him, a guy will never be more at your mercy. Make him squirm with a few gentle touches of your lips and the tip of your tongue, it drives us crazy in all the right ways.

Fancy a stare out? – It should be awkward looking each other in the eye at such a moment, but if there’s one image we’ll be reminiscing about days later this is it. When you look us in the eye it’s like you’re saying “look what I’m doing, you love it don’t you?” meanwhile your man finds his inner teenager screaming inside “oh my God, oh my god, oh my God.” You’d also be amazed at how much guys want to marry you in this moment, just saying.

Never leave a man (or two) behind – this is a tricky one because I know not all guys are into it. I certainly wasn’t when I was younger but when I relaxed and let it happen, I loved it. Whether it’s giving the balls the same treatment as the penis or even just grazing them with your fingertips it all contributes to enhancing the experience. Not essential, but a massive bonus to any guy who’s into it. One word of caution though, we’re very delicate in this area – like really delicate.

My penis is not an apple – there really is nothing worse than a ‘toothy’ blowjob. I always sympathise with girls because I know a lot of guys are different and what your last boyfriend liked isn’t necessarily what your new boyfriend will like. One thing I am confident of however, is that no man likes a toothy blow job. Again, grateful for what you’re doing but when it’s ‘toothy’ it’s just sore, as I’m sure it would be if the shoe was on the other foot. I’ve known guys to withstand it and hope for the best, but can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if a guy had to stop a blow job? It would be like stopping Christmas before you’ve had dinner. As a guy it’s one conversation I never want to have with a girl, one because well I don’t want to be in pain and two because I would never want to embarrass someone by putting them in that situation.

Dig a little deeper – deep throat is another thing that takes a guy by surprise in all the right ways. It’s not an expectation (it’s not always physically possible after all) but it’s definietly a welcome bonus. IF you’re going to do it though, only do it if you’re comfortable with it. I’m not a big fan of the choking and tears streaming from the eyes. Remember, guys want you to enjoy the experience just as much as they do and if you look like you’re in physical distress, well it’s a major turn off and at the end of the day why would we want to see you in distress? Deep throat is however some much-appreciated next level stuff and if you can do it with ease, then by all means show us what you’ve got.

So those are my top tips, always reme,ber foreplay should be fun and always, always stay within the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with.

Have a great week ahead!

PTB

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1 Comment

  1. Jack
    December 16, 2016 / 12:31 am

    Hahaha love this!!!!

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