24 Hours On Tinder

Many of you will know that I’m not the biggest fan of online dating. I’d describe myself as sceptical but open-minded. I’ve known so many people let down by the online process – conversations which held much promise quickly turning to bitter disappointment and regret. That being said there are many online success stories so regardless of my opinions of the online game; I fully accept its place within 21st century dating. So with this in mind I decided to try Tinder. I say try but I really just mean see what it’s all about. The growing popularity of the Tinder app has been rather astounding, in fact many people now have it in the same way they would have any other app irrespective of what if anything they are looking for. So in 24 hours here’s what I discovered:

1. Girls love baths. Tinder has introduced a new ‘moment’ feature simply allowing you to post a temporary picture with a message. Remember all those beach photos in the summer: legs or hot dogs? Well be prepared for lots of these except in the bath. They are of course legs this time I might add, no hot dogs in the bath – I hope.

2. Guys seem to (mostly) only want one thing. This doesn’t go for every guy of course but one of the most common complaints from girls was the vast amount of dirty messages being sent to them. It seems ‘would you like to see my penis’ has replaced the popular greeting known as ‘hello’ for many men. This is a similar complaint that I’d heard a while back from the women of plentyoffish.com so I was a tad disappointed to find a similar trend on Tinder. If you are only after a casual relationship there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but there’s ways of going about. I countered this with a ‘moment’ of my own: “Post dogs not d*cks” accompanied by a picture of my beloved Cocker Spaniel. The girls loved it, probably out of relief more than anything.

3. EVERYONE loves a selfie. The world has officially gone selfie mad. What more can I say?

4. Some people really are just lonely. This isn’t a criticism of course I genuinely felt a bit sad realizing this. There were girls posting their phone number publicly meaning just about anyone would have access to it, I found this slightly alarming. I decided to investigate this a little bit more and engaged in a few different conversations. It was incredible how each of these conversations took the exact same turn. It started with ‘oh I’m just bored’ but then slowly as they began to open up a sea of confidence and anxiety issues are revealed. I’ve written about this in some depth in the past, I wish people could see the good in themselves sometimes but easier said than done I know. They may not be who they want to be yet but that doesn’t mean they’re not a great person. I always say for every person who spurns you there are twenty others who would kill to be with you.

5. Looks are everything. Well at least on Tinder anyway. It’s incredible how often you hear people saying ‘looks aren’t everything’ and I agree looks may spark initial interest but it’s personality that determines the longevity of a relationship. On Tinder however that all goes out the window. It’s fascinating really and perhaps even a little bit of an ego boost but it’s incredible to see how quickly our every day rationality simply disappears.

So Tinder, I’m not yet convinced. I’m not sure Tinder quite knows what it is yet? I speak to so many people looking for love but I don’t think Tinder is the answer nor does it seem like a particularly good ‘hook-up’ site, in fact the mere suggestion of it is met with a barrage of hostility – but like I say there are ways of wording your intentions and it doesn’t begin with ‘do you wanna see…’ All just my opinion of course, I’ll let you make your own mind up.

Happy Dating

PTB

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14 Comments

  1. January 12, 2015 / 8:57 pm

    Reblogged this on Shana Love Coaching and commented:
    Thanks for your insight. I too was anti-online dating, then I came to the realization that is just another way for people to meet. Last summer, I did allow myself to get out of my comfort zone and be open to something different and new. I did learn a lot and there are pros & cons (just like most things); but, I learned to navigate the “online dating pool”. I still consider myself somewhat “old fashion”, but, I know that finding real love online is possible. It just allowing oneself to open that love can happen anywhere at any moment, as long as you have the right mindset when it comes to love and relationship.

  2. January 13, 2015 / 4:18 am

    Online dating is the only way I can meet people. It’s sad. I’ve been on and tried the majority
    Of sites out there- POF, yahoo personals, eharmony, match, etc.

    Tinder has been the best of them all. Not just anyone can send u a message. I have to click on u, and u have to click on me. Then, we can have a conversation.
    i like that feature.

    I never posted my cell # but I did post my KIK username and that was my big mistake.

    20 something’s messaging me, others wanting a hook up. Ugh.

    Lesson learned.

    No one has ever asked for a hookup. One guy did post too many “tinder moments” with a shower scene but he was removed and that was that.

    Best dating app I’ve been on this far.

  3. January 13, 2015 / 7:15 pm

    I am currently on the Tinder train, I like it its different, but, It seems that no matter which site I go on most of the time guys are looking for one thing. I have a humorous way of turning them down but all in all when it comes to looking for a sweet kind man its tough, you gotto keep swiping, which makes me miss the old days when you met people in person at a cafe and just started a conversation.

  4. January 16, 2015 / 1:39 am

    I joined Tinder after blogging many times about my Plenty Of Fish experiences. I’ve been single for 2 years so I figured, what the hell! Well…You’re completely right, Tinder is a total slutfest for the most part on both ends. In addition, I’ve never, ever, encountered so many cheaters. Half of the men are in relationships! Then when I’ve “matched” with someone, no one actually talks lol it’s just “moment” after “moment”. So annoying. Happy Tindering!

  5. January 19, 2015 / 9:30 pm

    Thanks for this! I have no intention to use Tinder, but I do appreciate your sociological approach to the application. 😉 You got me here: “It seems ‘would you like to see my penis’ has replaced the popular greeting known as ‘hello’ for many men.” When I was online dating, I was almost certain the new way to shake hands was to let the new suitor place his cock in my palm. SHEESH.

  6. February 21, 2015 / 11:24 pm

    I was actually just thinking about doing an article on Tinder. I think i’ll try to do one on E-Harmony or Match now lol!

  7. February 26, 2015 / 9:24 pm

    No comments, THE perfect article! Congrats and thank you for stopping over at my place.

  8. March 18, 2015 / 7:15 pm

    Reblogged this on Trolling the Class and commented:
    As I have moved along this journey of blogging about online dating, I have found that there is a lot of good observations written about Tinder. This is another good viewpoint.

  9. March 19, 2015 / 2:00 pm

    Interestingly, I’ve met the guy I’m now seeing on Tinder. .. I honestly didn’t think that would happen! Working from home, it’s not like I’m going to meet anyone at the office so online dating has been a path I’ve walked down a few times. I’m willing to give these sites a try, some I’ve paid money for and some that have been free. Most have provided some utterly baffling experiences (had a guy ask if he could come over and poop on me), though I had a terrible time with match.com. I honestly don’t know what version of the word “match” they use.

  10. July 1, 2015 / 7:05 pm

    This is great and so true to the point. I tried Tinder for 48 hours, and I never felt so lonely in all my life. Not one response. You have some great insights here. Right on.

  11. Carrie Monaghan
    December 16, 2015 / 10:41 am

    I’ve not been on tinder for over a year now so I don’t know if it’s changed much but all I can say is I don’t regret joining one tiny bit ! I met 1 or 2 lovely guys and my future husband who after a year of dating proposed and I couldn’t be happier …. Having said all that I did meet someone who turned out to be a serial liar living 2 different life’s who fooled me and his poor girlfriend for several weeks after this I gave up on tinder for a few weeks and ended up bored one night and getting it back …. That was the night I met my fiancé ! Tinder is a strange one but I 100% recommend it !

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