PTB

Great Myths About Men Explained

Being a guy, who knows a lot of guys, I unfortunately am all too familiar with some of man’s great failings when it comes to women. I could never claim to have been a perfect boyfriend, but every now and again friends, colleagues and often complete strangers will share their stories with me, and as much as I love to listen, every now and again my jaw hits the floor at some of the things we do and say. I could never judge anyone, way too many mistakes made on my part to do that, but are all the negative myths about men actually true? Or are they just that…myths?

1. We’re only after one thing. I get asked this question constantly and the truth is – a bit of both. I know someone who uses online dating and when asked what he’s looking for he is always completely truthful, “a bit of fun.” Hardly the romance girls are after but so long as it’s done respectfully is there really anything wrong with such honesty? This person’s explanation is “I travel a lot for work so it wouldn’t be fair for me to get seriously involved with someone, I just don’t have the time”. So yes sometimes guys are after only one thing but believe it or not, sometimes there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for it. Guys do think about sex constantly, it’s in our DNA after all, but that doesn’t mean we’re all predators and you can’t argue with science! Girls, if it’s something you’re really concerned about look out for the early warning signs, some are more obvious than others – requests for dirty photos, innuendos, and the classic “I’m in bed, wish you were here” – we try and pass it off as ‘banter’ but that would be a blatant lie (guys you know exactly what I’m talking about). If you’re stillΒ worried sometimes the best thing you can do is actually the simplest – just ask.

2. We constantly lie. This isn’t true of all men of course but yes you’d be surprised at just how much men tell porkies. There is, however, a little method to our madness. Guys are too often guilty of saying what we think women want to hear rather than what we’re actually thinking. The peculiar thing is that guys are often berated for lying, sure it’s not okay but you’d be surprised how often guys lie simply to protect a girl’s feelings and I’m sure that works vice-versa as well. This is of course just your typical little white lies, the other kind of lying that we all know about is a different story altogether. If a guy thinks he can get away with lying, cheating and stealing then he’ll probably continue to do it, you’d be surprised at how quickly lying can become a habit as opposed to a one-off. On a more general level, learn to know when your guy is lying (he will have a tell) and nip it in the bud before it escalates. Don’t be a bunny boiler about it though, we aren’t always lying – believe it or not.

3. “Once a cheater always a cheater” This one drives me crazy, I cannot stress enough how much I wholeheartedly disagree with this. People change, people grow up! Obviously I don’t condone cheating but people do learn from their mistakes. I’ve known guys who’ve cheated and continue to cheat with numerous different women, it’s a sad fact of life, but I also know guys who were so wracked with guilt from cheating that they couldn’t eat or sleep for days and wouldn’t dare go near another woman ever again. It’s down to personal choice whether you forgive a cheater or not but when making that decision don’t assume that he will always cheat. Just keep a casual eye on him – time will soon tell if you’ve made the right decision.

4. Our feelings don’t get hurt. Definitely not true. Even the biggest, buffest guy in the gym canΒ be a delicate little flower inside. Guys don’t express feelings very well but don’t mistake this for being made of stone. Sometimes we’re just as insecure as women. I’ve written in detail about this before but more recently I did a small photoshoot for a friend and you’d be surprised at just how much a good quality camera can reveal your every flaw. I almost cried myself to sleep that night – big softie that I am.

5. We hate all of your friends. Not true at all we just hate when you’re in a group together! I have this ex and individually I loved every one of her friends, but as a group? Don’t get me started! There are few words to explain the frustration of a man having to spend an evening with a group of hyperactive, babbling, ranting women. Yes we’ll be gents, keep quiet and politely listen to every one of your meaningless conversations about “that bitch from work” but sorry girls we just don’t want to be there – please don’t make us be.

So girls, yes we’re far from perfect but don’t always believe what you read and be wary of the words of a woman scorned. People can only speak of their own experiences but not everyone or every circumstance is the same. Try your best to be a good judge of character and never be afraid to ask questions. Failing that just come and ask me – I promise I’m not only after one thing (but I do not want to meet your friends).

PTB

61 thoughts on “Great Myths About Men Explained

  1. Informative and comedic, as always. Guess the golden rule is to just treat people like you want to be treated right? Don’t make blanket statements and give people fair chances. There is no perfect answer for any question about the opposite sex.

  2. I loved that, well done!

    Often men are surprisingly misunderstood by women, at least that’s the impression I get from women I talk to. Sometimes we tend to think men are emotionally strong, hardly have feelings at all, and forget how easy it is to wound them. Many women aren’t aware of how protective men can be towards our feelings and men do have a tendency to tell us what we want to hear. Women however, rarely return the favor. We think you’re tougher than you are, so sometimes we can be quite brutal.

    1. Really glad you like it. I don’t blame women for not understanding men we can be pretty difficult at the best of times but yes there is a bit more mystery to men than most people really is. Really appreciate your comments thanks again. Paul

  3. Ha! Thanks for the laughs and the info… it seems to me that we would all be far better off if we were honest with each other from the start but with the nerves of the first encounters this seems to be difficult. I’m still not completely convinced about #3 but I do get your point.

  4. I think “Don Draper” is a great example in Mad Men. In some ways…. Imperfect, and trying to fly straight only to crash and burn even worse. I made some course corrections in my marriage recently. And I just realized how much less (if at all anymore) I daydream of my “Plan B” women.

  5. Insightful and entertaining, great post.

    I think some of the same myths are definitely applicable to women as well. There are some ladies out there that are all about keeping things light and free (ie, hooking up).

    And anytime you group up a large selection of the opposite sex it lessens the enjoyment level of your partner. I’ve always enjoyed friends of my boyfriends, but hearing how hot the girl they hooked up with from the previous night is or how hard level 5 was in Halo? Nope.

    Granted, there’s always exceptions to the rules and that’s what makes life and dating so much fun/frustrating. None of us think or act the same so the end results of our actions and adventures is most of the time unpredictable by nature. Don’t you just love that?

    Again, great post!!

  6. Great post as always. I think the bigger problem here is just throwing all guys together under one warm blanket statement. Same goes for a lot of the misconceptions of girls. Desperately stereotypical, but I really think honesty and communication are the key to gender relationships.

  7. The older I get, the less I get men, that’s a fact πŸ˜€ But honesty really is the key, even if it doesn’t help at times. I’m seeing this guy, met him on tinder (yesyes, I know) in may, turns out he’s really nice and his game between the sheets is awesome. He’s constantly implying he wants more, sending mixed signals like being upset if we can’t meet, being upset that I don’t invite him over to my place etc, yet if I open up and ask if he wants more, he backs off saying it’s great the way it is and that he can separate sex from love. Which is fine with me, nevertheless not getting why he gets upset.
    Summing up, really looking forward to read more from you, it’s nice to get an insight to the other side πŸ˜‰

  8. Reblogged this on Tales of A Real Tinderella and commented:
    I really liked this article by Paul Thomas Bell. He’s not only a polished writer, but incredibly articulate thoughts on paper, and very concise in the way he delivers his message, so I like it.

    I also liked his franc honesty, especially when he talks about the porkie pies men tend to tell to avoid hurting our feelings, or when they say what they think we want to hear… frustrating but truthful.

    So thanks Paul, it’s a pleasurable read, that’s quick too: and who knows, it might even debunk some of those myths about men for some of us πŸ™‚

    Happy Reading

    Yours truly

    A.R.T

    1. Hi A.R.T,

      Just back from holiday and read your comment, rea;;y appreciate your thoughts I always try and be as honest a spossible even if it puts me or men in general in a bad light so thank you for noticing. Looking forward to reading more of your blog and hope you continue to enjoy mine.

      Thanks Again πŸ™‚
      Paul

  9. feelings equalled to “insecurities”? funny πŸ™‚ so that’s how you understand it? and that’s how men will never get it.

Leave a Reply