First Date Survival Guide: The Do’s and Dont’s

So she said yes. You saw the girl, you swooped and you got the number. Some might say the hard part is over but then again you still have the first date to consider. You don’t want all that hard work to be for nothing, do you? Ok, now it’s time to really impress her. Even the most confident of guys lose their cool on the first date, here are my tips to ensuring that doesn’t happen.

DON’T!

Talk about your ex let’s get it out the way now, the golden rule of any first date. No one wants to know how heartbroken you were or how she was just using you to get close to your best friend. This is your chance to leave all of that behind you, take it!

1395346699297Overdress so you’re getting ready and can’t decide what to wear? Remember this is a date not a prom, leave the bow tie at home – unless you are a master of geek chic of course. You also don’t want to look better than her, let her be the star for the night you’ll have other opportunities to be the showstopper. You wont go far wrong with a casual short-sleeved shirt, slim-fit jeans and a decent pair of shoes but not the Italian pair you wore to work that day, no one likes a pair flippers.

Get Ahead of Yourself don’t set yourself up for a fall, she’s agreed to meet for a drink not be the mother of your children! Remember this is just a date, there were other girls before her and there’ll be many more after her, this is NOT your one and only chance to find love! If you’re secretly already telling yourself she’s your girlfriend in your head then we have a serious problem. Desperation can be spotted a mile off. However much you want this, stay cool!

Take her Somewhere Loud you’re trying to get to know her not deafen her. Avoid places where you’ll have to shout your every word, quite frankly it gets exhausting. That’s not to say take her to the library either,Β  pick somewhere that you can sit down and chat with relative ease. Have two or three locations in mind before you even meet her. The cinema is also a major no-no for different reasons. I’m sure I don’t need to explain why.

best-date-notPlay With Your Phone you’re supposed to be listening to her pretending she loves her job not playing Angry Birds! Don’t text either, if your teachers could see you doing it under the table at school your date can too, save it for the bathroom breaks.

Talk About Sex whether you’re a sex addict or just having some playful banter save it for the boys in the pub. Some girls can be quite frigid about the subject and it’s probably too early to judge her sense of humour. Don’t blow your load too soon or you’ll find yourself on the next bus home. Likewise no one wants to know how many times you’ve been to the clinic in the last six months.

Be Too Nice be respectful but don’t be her best friend. Find the right balance of ‘cheeky’ and ‘gent’ and your on your way to a second date. Give her a casual compliment when you see her and I mean “you look great” NOT “dat ass girl”.

Be Negative a girl doesn’t want to know about your miserable luck with the ladies and why you hate the world nor does she want to know about your dark poetry phase. Be someone who can add a little spark to her life. Her best mate wont stop crying about her ex she doesnt need you adding to her problems as well. If the date isn’t going well don’t get fed up, you now have nothing to lose. Just enjoy it for what it is – a night out!

passed-out-drunkGet Wasted remember you’re the boss here, you need to stay in control. Have a few drinks to take the edge off but know your limits. The last thing you need is your date getting dressed up only to be covered in your sick after yet another jaeger bomb. Similarly you don’t want to put yourself in a position where your date proves she can drink you under the table.

DO!

Ask Questions but not too many, it’s a date not a job interview. Show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know this person, you may even find that you have more in common thanΒ  you first thought. Try to let things flow – no one likes an awkward silence!

man-paying-for-date1Pay For Everything Yes I know it’s expensive but your new x-box game can wait until next month. The best girls offer to pay but politely decline, tonight is on you. Take more money out than you’ll need, you don’t have to spend it all. Going dutch is second or third date material but don’t ever make money an issue, save it for when you’re married.

Relax I know it can be nerve-wracking but you’ll just have to get over it, man up! Your date is the priority after all and if you can’t relax she won’t relax. Like I said before don’t overthink things this is just a drink, she’s not the dentist, what do you have to be nervous about?

Be Yourself the most obvious of cliches I know, but it’s true. Pretending your something you’re not might be easy enough to do once but you’d be surprised how quickly that can spiral. Before you know it you’ll be up to your eyeballs in payday loans funding all those trips to Marbella that you said your ‘mate’ Mark Wright would hook you up with.

casablancaKiss Her but only on the cheek, linger for half a second and if it feels right it might just turn into a proper kiss. Don’t dance about on the spot like a bumbling idiot, be confident and know your plan before the moment even comes. Just don’t give too much away, always leave her wanting more.

 

Good Luck

PTB

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50 Comments

      • July 29, 2014 / 8:03 pm

        Since these are based on your experience, I’d love your take on do’s and don’ts for women from what you’ve experienced πŸ™‚

  1. July 29, 2014 / 3:00 pm

    I feel this information needs to be distributed via a government-standard pamphlet to all men when they turn 21. Oh what a better place the world would be!

    • July 29, 2014 / 3:01 pm

      Haha quite possibly. Glad you liked it, thanks for reading!

  2. July 29, 2014 / 3:03 pm

    I like this πŸ™‚ Very good. Hoping that my next “first date” will follow these guidelines.

    • July 29, 2014 / 3:05 pm

      Haha unlikely but here’s hoping. I learnt these tips the hard way. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

      • July 29, 2014 / 3:06 pm

        PS: I especially liked the tip about the kiss on the cheek! Very sweet, and not too overboard. Haven’t encountered that yet either, but hoping I will πŸ™‚ Have a nice day

        • July 29, 2014 / 3:08 pm

          I’m glad you liked that one, i’m quite proud of that lol. Thanks again, you too πŸ™‚

  3. susanwinter181
    July 29, 2014 / 3:33 pm

    Just shared this on my FB page an G+. Great material, Paul.

    • July 29, 2014 / 3:34 pm

      Aw thank you Susan, Im grateful as always. Delighted to say this piece will be on FHM’s website later today. Big moment for me πŸ™‚

  4. July 29, 2014 / 6:57 pm

    I’ve been on many first and last dates where I had to listen to ex problems, how hard life is, paid for everything, had to yell the entire time, and they wanted to get down my pants… More men should listen to advice like what you just gave. Wonderfully written!

  5. July 30, 2014 / 12:42 am

    There was a “don’t list”?!?!

  6. July 30, 2014 / 3:12 am

    Yes, definitely pay for everything or surely there will be no second date.

  7. July 30, 2014 / 6:27 am

    Really interesting list. I agree completely on the part where the man pays for everything. But what about being nice? You can never be too nice right?

    • July 30, 2014 / 3:05 pm

      I personally think you can be too nice, sometimes it stops you relaxing if someone is constantly asking if you’re ok or trying to buy you stuff every five seconds. It probably depends on our definitions of too nice but just my opinion πŸ™‚ really appreciate your comments and thanks for reading. Paul

      • July 30, 2014 / 4:22 pm

        I ask only because I think I might be too nice, I’ve always tried to be a gentleman and pay for everything, but I think I might be overdoing it to the point where she feels uncomfortable because she can’t pay me back in the same form.

  8. Thorne Fearon
    July 30, 2014 / 11:58 am

    Well done! Have learned a lot…

  9. July 30, 2014 / 3:04 pm

    If only I hadn’t given up on dating entirely for the moment… πŸ™‚
    I would say this would be a fantastic new perspective to look at. Very encouraging and thanks for the enlightenment on what a great date should look like. Brilliant!

    • July 30, 2014 / 3:10 pm

      Aw thank you I really appreciate that, glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚
      Paul

  10. July 30, 2014 / 3:41 pm

    Great post! I’ve been planning on writing a post about some previous bad dates and it definitely correlated with the don’t list above!

  11. July 30, 2014 / 6:15 pm

    Excellent advice, mister! Now if you could only that that along to nearly every guy I have ever dated, that would be great. πŸ˜‰

  12. July 31, 2014 / 2:33 pm

    Thumbs up to this post! What I really annoys me on the first date is when a guy would talk about sex. I mean, i’m not a prude nor conservative type but, dude you gotta make me like you first before we get to the “turn-off-the-lights” part. Lol.

  13. August 2, 2014 / 1:48 pm

    So proud of you for having this published on the FHM site. Such an achievement! πŸ™‚

  14. August 4, 2014 / 2:45 pm

    Fantastic read, but even if they do all the DO’s they seem to drift out for a second date! also, men do be straight foward dont let the girl thinking something that there will be a second date.. it’ll only leave us thinking a million things. Rather truth be told!

  15. August 4, 2014 / 4:35 pm

    Hahaha very nice compilation! The Don’ts were hilarious ;),

  16. shwetajoshi
    August 5, 2014 / 5:39 am

    It’s hilarious to read what guys go through preparing for first date and your insightful advise on the corresponding issues.

  17. August 5, 2014 / 5:36 pm

    Reblogged this on dating savannah love and commented:
    First dates can be challenging not knowing what to expect of the other person you’re going out with for the first time. Savannah definitely had her share of interesting first dates (watch S1 episodes here http://www.youtube.com/namebrandfilms). Here is a list of The Do’s and Don’ts before your next first date.

  18. August 6, 2014 / 5:03 pm

    I’ve had so many first dates these days, many of whom broke some of these rules (or I did!). Definitely wiggle room for those more experienced. πŸ™‚

    However I do have to add one BIG don’t for men– don’t talk too much about yourself. I’ve been out with or just met so many guys who love to go on and on about their jobs and interests, and as women we are (unfortunately) conditioned to politely and passively listen. While writing that person off completely.

    • August 6, 2014 / 5:15 pm

      Hey thanks for reading. You’re absolutely right that’s a good point to add as well. On the flip side of that though I went on a date recently and we chatted non stop for fours hours so you could say it went pretty well then on my way home I realised she didn’t ask me a single question in those four hours. Still agree though, first date is all about the girl.

  19. August 7, 2014 / 5:41 pm

    Reblogged this on MaybeMiranda and commented:
    Why couldn’t this be a pamphlet that was given out to men once they had made the decision that they wanted to date someone?

  20. August 20, 2014 / 8:27 pm

    Nice piece.. Confidence is the Key to any door to me..In a relationship or not. That key is there to open doors!

  21. August 26, 2014 / 7:46 pm

    haha. Charming. Not sure about pay for all thing. I prefer to split actually. But I do agree that it is better to be on the safe side and pay for it because here it is difficult to know and asking can get weird. Nice post!

    • September 4, 2014 / 8:02 pm

      Thank you so much! Trust me I would love to come to LA but I just couldn’t afford it sadly and I’d need a job haha

  22. September 19, 2014 / 10:49 pm

    Everyone should read this before a 1st date! Great job. I’m a newbie so thanks for being my 1st follower xxx

    • September 20, 2014 / 6:56 am

      Thank you so much really appreciate that. Look forward to reading more of your stuff. Keep in touch. Paul

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  24. October 4, 2014 / 5:42 am

    Playing with your phone on a date is the worst! But I have to disagree on the guy paying, I think men paying for everything on a date a bit unfair!

  25. October 7, 2014 / 8:16 pm

    All very, very good tips but “Be yourself” has got to be the most important one!
    Most of my dates went nowhere because they were pretending to be someone else, as in that witty, flirty, confident guy, and then turned out to be completely different.

  26. October 16, 2014 / 9:07 am

    I agree to some extent Paul. Ill be posting the woman’s perspective soon. Thank you for following theandreaapproach.com

    kind regards,
    Andrea

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