Dumped? The Fast Track Guide To Getting Over It

Let’s face it break-ups suck. There’s nothing worse than that overwhelming numbness in your stomach, forcing yourself to watch ‘The Notebook’ for the hundredth time and of course your sudden lack of interest in all things nutritional but it doesn’t have to be this way. I myself have been there, the skinny emo kid crying in the rain secretly believing life is a movie and that she will indeed come running back into my arms. Sadly there are few situations I haven’t found myself in, here’s my guide to coping with a break-up without resorting to a rendition ofย  “Hey there Delilah” outside her bedroom window.

dawson_cryingDay 1: The toughest day of all. It’s still raw, you have a lot of unanswered questions in your head and you’re craving answers but whatever the situation, trust me when I say turn your phone off! As someone who has been both the dumper and the dumpee, giving each other space is vital. The worse thing you can do is continue pestering someone when they so clearly need a bit of space. This also applies if you are trying to win someone back, let them miss you! Cry, there’s no shame in it. Let it all out, we’re only human and break-ups hurt, cry as much as you need to but the second you stop, look in the mirror and laugh at the state of your face. Laughing is an amazing cure for most things in life.

Day 2: So yesterday was tough, really tough, but you got through it. Things still wont be easy but you need to shake yourself off and at least attempt to be positive. Make a playlist. We’ve all been there, when that one song that reminds you of your ex comes on, the one you used to lie in bed together listening to, planning a lifetime of memories. Sadly this too is now a memory, don’t let this happen or you’ll find yourself back at the beginning of day one. Listen to all the music in the world but be strict with yourself, stick to positive, uplifting songs, nothing slow, depressing or romantic and under no circumstances are you to listen to Adele! I personally recommend old school rap, you may find yourself shaking your butt in the mirror at a time when even getting out of bed seemed impossible.

Worn_Sneaker(3)Day 3: Time to get the running shoes on. The benefits of even a ten minute run are incredible. Clear your mind, get David Guetta booming on your ipod and just run! It worked for Forrest Gump (without the Guetta) and it worked for me. I pounded the pavements like a marathon runner almost every day. Do not stay in bed!

Day 4: Spend time with friends and family. It’s important to remember there are other people in your life, people who love you and actually want to spend time with you. Avoid the subject of relationships. If your a guy moan about the football, laugh at your mates dodgy new tache and if your a girl ask your gal pals ‘omg, what is she wearing?’ Or if you’re like me, do all of the above.

Day 5: Remember all those things you wanted to do but couldn’t because your partner drank your money away last weekend? Well here’s your chance, have some you time. Now more than ever is when you’re allowed to be selfish. Treat yourself! It’s been a difficult few days and you probably need a little pick-me-up. Go and buy that leather jacket you wanted or those sickeningly expensive shoes, you deserve it. Or even better get a makeover, a new haircut for a new you.

Day 6: Keep busy.ย  Occupy yourself, it wont always stop you from thinking about your ex but it’ll certainly help. Take evening classes, learn to cook, remember how they used to complain? The world is your oyster, you’re a talented person you just never had the time to show it.

tumblr_mb3bd08Tjs1qe1a2ao1_500Day 7: Let your frustrations out. Possibly one of the most important days of all. It’s time to let it all out again but crying is a little too morbid at this point. Be a badass, hit the gym and hit that punch bag harder than you’ve ever hit anything in your life. Show them what you’re made of, it’s a release that can be just as good as sex.

Day 8: Delete the photos. You knew this day was coming but you’ve already proven how strong you are, rip the band aid. Once it’s done it’s done. We both know looking at them was only making things worse. Your focus is positivity remember!

Day 9: Let’s be honest you haven’t been eating all that well this past week, it’s time to give your body a break. Go to your favourite restaurant and order your favourite meal, do not stop eating until your shirt is literally popping buttons! Trust me your newly visible ribcage says you need it.

black-and-white-cute-fashion-happy-photography-Favim.com-137587_largeDay 10: Plan ahead. You may still have dark days from time to time but your over the worst and by this point you know what works for you. Try and remind yourself of your ex’s bad points, of your good points and of all the opportunities at your disposal as a result of being single. Be grateful for the good times you shared but trust that everything happens for a reason and that eventually, you will meet someone else. Focus on your career, book a holiday, just be you again. Life could be worse.

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35 Comments

  1. July 28, 2014 / 1:44 pm

    Nice post can help people a lot. Thanks for sharing ^^

  2. July 28, 2014 / 2:17 pm

    I hope I never need to follow this advice, but it’s a great article. A lot of this is just good advice for getting over any kind of upset or down-point in life. Making a positive playlist is key to anything!

  3. July 28, 2014 / 3:33 pm

    been on both sides of the breakup. GREAT advice! I personally keep a punching bag in my basement for step 7 ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. July 28, 2014 / 3:47 pm

    They say great minds think alike. Lol. Whereas you did a step-by-step method, I have a saved draft on one particular theme. I probably will not upload for another month or more. As for this post, I rather like the concept of deleting photos. Many choose to keep, but that is their right of course. Great list.

  5. July 28, 2014 / 5:18 pm

    Awesome post! I loved that you mentioned avoiding Adele…considering that was me like two days ago reliving my long past breakup haha…but wait…life isn’t a movie? Not sure I’m down with that idea ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. July 28, 2014 / 5:45 pm

    I only wish I had read this last year round about this time! It would have helped me a lot! Great article!

    • July 28, 2014 / 5:55 pm

      Aww I’m sorry to hear that but I’m glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully you’ll never need that advice again ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. July 28, 2014 / 5:45 pm

    We must have been separated at birth. Playlists, etc. The photo thing is the hardest part. I think that is the final Bonfire of the Vanities. I guess if you don’t get back together in “X” amount of time….light them up in true Viking Fashion.
    (Or if you get married) Burn them ASAP.

    • July 28, 2014 / 5:56 pm

      Haha glad you liked it. The photos bit is definitely the toughest like really tough that’s probably the bit I struggle with most but I guess it needs to be done. Thanks for reading!

  8. July 28, 2014 / 7:22 pm

    This would’ve helped me earlier this summer…I spent a week of not really eating much and too lethargic to do anything.

    • July 28, 2014 / 7:30 pm

      We’ve all been there I guess, hopefully you won’t need it again. Thanks for reading.

  9. July 29, 2014 / 12:45 am

    “Just be you again.” It’s hard to go from “we” to just “me”, but you’re absolutely right. Great post…as usual:) It’s nice to know the other side goes through a similar process.

    • July 29, 2014 / 12:53 am

      Glad you like it. Added you to my recommended blogs page.
      Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. July 29, 2014 / 2:00 am

    Where were you three bad breakups ago, mate? This was so awesome! Can we put this into international law that everyone must read this article upon entering puberty?

  11. July 29, 2014 / 11:56 am

    Yes!! Running and working out are for sure things that help over the break-up slump. Bonus: Next time you accidentally run into your ex you look incredible and it feels oh so good rubbing that in….:) Even if you were the dumper…let’s be honest. ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. July 29, 2014 / 9:13 pm

    I really enjoy reading your blogs! You do really care about your readers, and help to give them guidance. I’ve said it before, and I shall say it again, really well done and I am so happy to have found your blog! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. July 30, 2014 / 3:03 am

    This is awesome. I wish I would have read this when I went through my horrible breakup, it would have saved me a lot of painful days.

  14. July 31, 2014 / 3:13 am

    Love it haha. Just broke up with my ex and I thought this was all great advice.

  15. July 31, 2014 / 7:00 pm

    Good to know that I am on the right track, and that no matter how isolated we all feel after a break up, we are never really alone. Pain, like love, is universal. You’re absolutely right – life could be worse.

    Another tip: delete related social media related posts involving said ex (i.e. tweets, fb status updates, instagram uploads etc.). Made me feel a lot more at ease knowing that I don’t have those photos/mentions on my accounts,

    • August 3, 2014 / 8:59 pm

      Completely agree, we are never ever alone in these situations, I guess that’s why I love writing about these things. Thank you so much for reading ๐Ÿ™‚ Keep in touch. Paul

  16. August 4, 2014 / 12:05 am

    You hit the nail on the head regarding what I went through this summer and how I dealt with it. What a great article!

  17. shwetajoshi
    August 5, 2014 / 5:42 am

    Sorry Adele ๐Ÿ™
    And I have a feeling that htis 10-day guide can come in handy for all of us many times. So, I may just bookmark it for myself and my friends. ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. August 7, 2014 / 10:38 pm

    How I wish I had come across this five weeks ago hahahah. Brilliant!

    And Ja,Adele’s a big no no!

  19. August 28, 2014 / 4:18 am

    Awesome thinking and i really appreciate with your all work and your are doing good Thanks have a great day for you !!!

  20. September 20, 2014 / 6:02 pm

    The ‘under no circumstances listen to Adele’ had me cracking up!! Think most people can relate to this well written blog post. I’m enjoying reading your work, keep it up xxx

  21. October 16, 2014 / 4:32 pm

    Reblogged this on Enlighten Me…TV and commented:
    Like your style Paul. Thought about video blogs? Fancy a little interview on camera? I’ll be in Scotland some time before Xmas. ๐Ÿ™‚ Myfanwy

  22. October 16, 2014 / 4:34 pm

    Like your style Paul. Thought about video blogs? Fancy a little interview on camera? I’ll be in Scotland some time before Xmas. ๐Ÿ™‚ Myfanwy, (Enlighten Me..TV)

    • October 16, 2014 / 5:15 pm

      Hi Myfanwy great to hear from you. Video blogs is definitely something I’m considering I’ve had some talks with a production company about documentaries so being on screen is definitely the long term goal. I’d love to sort out an interview that would be fun just give me a shout when you’ll be in Scotland. Paul

  23. October 22, 2014 / 5:38 am

    First off. I swear I’m not a stalker. I’m currently binge reading all of your posts. Awesome! This one probably has helped me the most. See my best friend wanted my ex for herself. And she went behind my back and told him a bunch of shit and got him for herself. And now she’s telling everyone he raped her. So now I’ve lost my best friend and boyfriend in one swoop. Your posts have been helping! Dating is ass insane in LA!

    • October 25, 2014 / 12:46 pm

      Haha you can stalk me anytime! No seriously thank you so much for reading I’m glad to hear it’s helped. I can imagine dating is crazy in LA I spent 2 days in LA and even walking down a street was crazy never mind dating but nonetheless I’m very eager to return din’t get to experience enough of it. Keep in touch! Paul

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